Tag Archives: success

Giving Up the Old for the New!

20 Dec

The crucial element of the vacuum law of prosperity is that I must let go of the old, before I can ever make room for the new. ~From the book Born Rich

I’ve often thought about why it is so difficult for people to change, to turn their life around, even when it’s not going in the direction that they’d like? We all know people like this. It’s one disappointment after another. One catastrophe after another. One failure after another.

Because I am an expert on fear I’m going to submit that it is fear that prevents people from changing. But fear of what? Here’s where it gets a little tricky. Is it fear of failure? But this individual has already failed at things in their life. Is it fear of rejection? I’m sure they’ve already been rejected and not just once. Is it fear of embarrassment and humiliation? Perhaps, but everyone feels embarrassed and even humiliated at times, even those with high self-esteem and self-confidence. No, I’m going to suggest that it’s the fear of the unknown.

We, as modern day human beings, live in comfort zones. They make us feel safe and secure. But, it is our inborn fears that prevent us from venturing outside the limits of these zones. Even when, in our imagination we can clearly see the perfect person we long to be; one who is happy, secure, successful, self-confident and a winner, we are still afraid to take a risk and make changes to our lives.

I can understand why people would choose to live with the same old, same old. It’s known and it’s safe. To us the unknown is a very scary place. We believe in that old axiom, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” And so we don’t give up the bird in our hand, even though it may be sickly and dying (think of your job or relationship), to risk going after the two plumper birds in the bush.

There is a universal law that says that nature abhors a vacuum. What that means is that as soon as you give up one thing, another comes in to fill the void. And most often the new thing is better than the old thing you gave up.

The above quote is out of the book Born Rich and is a positive affirmation. As long as you hold to the fear that by giving up the old nothing new will come to you, you won’t risk making the changes that will bring you your perfect life. As you take the first steps on your journey the first old thing to give up is this old belief. And you do it by repeating the positive affirmation above. At first, your mind won’t believe it is true. But repeat it over and over to yourself daily and in time it will become the truth. At that point you will now be comfortable enough to give up the old you, for the new you. This new magnificent perfect you.

Love,

Michael

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What Me Worry?

17 Dec

It’s been said that 97% of what we worry about never happens. And yet, for some of us, it’s seems almost impossible to put a stop to worrying. What is worry? The psychiatrist Carl Jung characterizes worry as a substitute for legitimate suffering. In other words, it’s neurotic, not helpful and a waste of time. Worry is when your thoughts run wild, sometimes to the point of being delusional and out of control. One negative thought attracts another, followed by another and so on until all you can see on your path is disaster. Everything is absolute, and everything is a catastrophe.

How does this happen? Why is worrying likely to cause a tailspin or downward spiral? When you start with one negative thought put out into the universe, the thought is like a magnet, attracting like thoughts. The level of vibration in a negative thought finds similar thoughts because they are vibrating at the very same frequency. Suddenly you have a bundle of worries, creating fear and depression. What you feel in any given moment is always the result of what you’re thinking at that moment.

Recently a friend of mine was selected to give a speech at an upcoming charity event. Betty is a highly intelligent and accomplished woman well known in her field, which is why she was asked to speak. Betty wasn’t thrilled, in fact she was petrified. Very much as I was when I was in New York to accept the Best Toy Store award for Magic Village toy store in San Jose, CA. And just like me this woman could think of nothing but catastrophe. What if I forget what to say? What if my voice cracks? What happens if I lose my place? What happens if I mispronounce a word, or worse yet, someone’s name?

In the weeks prior to the speech all she did was worry. Now think about this. She allowed herself to be consumed by fear and worry for weeks leading up to the event. Were these happy times for her? Of course not! Her worrying overshadowed everything she did in those weeks; her job, time with her family and friends, the pleasure in her romantic relationship, and her peace of mind. And, for what? Nothing. Worrying was a waste of her time, energy and happiness. Did she do well when she actually gave the speech? Absolutely, she was great. Did any of the things she worried about come to pass? Yes. Her mouth was a bit dry at the beginning and she felt a bit dizzy walking up the stairs to the podium. Then, she took a sip of water, took a deep breath and looked out at her audience. She suddenly realized she was just human, the same as everyone sitting in front of her. If she made a mistake, and she did, she still felt the thrill of getting to talk to so many people about why she supported the charity, and why the organization means so much to her.

Nobody asked for perfect, and you never have to show up perfect. We’re all human. We will make mistakes. It’s all part of life. I’ve spoken to hundreds of groups over the years and I will tell you this, not a one of those talks was perfect. I made mistakes. As long as I live I will continue to make mistakes. So what? Who cares? They don’t and I certainly shouldn’t.

Love,

Michael

From Failure to Success!

10 Dec

Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success. ~Napoleon Hill

It is my belief that each of us is born for greatness and that each of us deserves to have everything that we desire. But how many of us actually achieve this, our destiny? Not many I’m afraid.

In my lifetime I’ve known people who seemed to have all the attributes for success; intelligence, charisma, charm, personality, and a host of other qualities. Yet, no matter the industry or other career path they’ve chosen, they have always struggled. And I’ve known people who lacked most of what my first example possessed, yet they have risen to the top, almost effortlessly. If you managed a sales force or owned your own company you know what I mean.

Up until about a dozen years ago I was like most people, baffled why some succeeded while others of greater talent floundered. I had an inkling that it might be because of fear and the individuals inability to fight through and overpower their fears. Hey, all I had to do was look at myself, a fear based person since birth.

In studying fear I came to realize that all of us feel fear, very often the very same fears as others, but some have the ability to feel the fear, yet do what is necessary to succeed. While others allow fear to stop them in their tracks.

I came to realize that one of the greatest of all fears is the fear of failure. Most of us acquired this fear when we were quite young, probably after our egos got bruised when our classmates laughed at us for a wrong answer. As we got older this fear actually grew and we began to avoid taking risks in our lives. Risk is nothing more than giving up the known for the unknown. But the unknown almost always includes failure.

When you were just an infant you learned how to crawl, then you learned how to pull yourself up to a wobbly standing position, albeit holding on to something for support. Then you let go of that support and took your first step. Did you then race across the room doing back flips? No, you probably plopped back down to the floor. So, you crawled back to that table or chair for support and started all over again. Did you think of yourself as a failure? Of course not. This is how we all learn.

Was there a seed of success in failing and failing, and then finally learning how to walk? Of course there was; you learned to run, to jump, and to dance.  

I am now going to give you permission to fail. Yes, go ahead and take a risk. It’s OK to fail. Why do I want you to fail? Because that’s how you learn. That’s how you grow. And please remember this: Failing does not make you a failure. It just moves you one step closer to success, as long as you don’t give up.

Love,

Michael

People Who Rain on Our Parade

23 Sep

Have you ever had a great idea: for a new product, a new job, a new business, or even a move to another locale? You’re excited about whatever you have chosen, and can’t wait to share it with others.

And so you tell a friend or a family member and instead of getting a positive response that will reinforce your decision you get something like this. “What makes you think you can start a business? Don’t you know we’re in a recession? It takes a long time to get a business off the ground. You tried that once and you failed miserably.” “You want a new car? Can you afford it? Remember you’ve only been on your job 6 months.” “This is who you chose for a spouse? You can do much better than this. Why rush?”

What did it feel like when you heard those comments? I’ll bet they were painful. And I’ll bet even more that they made you feel lost, confused and fearful.

You started doubting yourself and your new idea. Then you probably said to yourself maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Why do people do this? When asked, most naysayers will tell you that they just want to help. That they want to prevent you from making a mistake. So they feel this compulsion to point out your past follies, mistakes and failures.

And if you challenge them they’ll usually reply with, “You’re just not being realistic!”

Bull. What’s really being said is, “I’m jealous. If you succeed you probably won’t be friends with me anymore. You’ll move out of the neighborhood and won’t ever come back. Your success will make me feel like a failure. My life will be ruined.”

So the next time you’ve got a great idea and someone rains on your parade, instead of feeling fear, take a good hard look at the person telling you these negative things. Then ask yourself, “Is this someone whose advice I value?” If the answer is no get away from them as quickly as possible. They’ll just bring you down.

Love,

Michael

Don’t Let Anybody Bully You!

19 Sep

Luckman’s Law: Don’t let anybody bully you, including your own ego.

The funny thing about this Luckman’s Law is that for most, we still allow others to bully us. It could be a boss, your co-workers, your customers or maybe even your spouse.

Nobody should be a bully and nobody should allow others to bully them.

The best response that I’ve found when confronted by a bully is to fight back. I’m not talking about swinging a right hook. I’m talking about standing up to the bully and let them know you aren’t going to stand there and take their crap. Most bullies depend upon their victim to cower in fear, and that’s because most do. But your average bully doesn’t expect you to respond in such a drastic fashion. And when confronted, typically backs down.

Now, let’s talk about a more insidious bully. Your ego. You see, my belief is that your ego is not your friend. Never has been and never will be. Your ego is there simply to compare you and your possessions to others. When you compare favorably you feel good. On top of the world. Ready to conquer any challenge. But when you are compared unfavorably, when you don’t measure up, the first emotion you feel is fear. Fear that you’re not good enough, rich enough, talented enough, deserving enough or whatever. When the fear comes your confidence goes. You feel uncertain and begin to doubt yourself, your talents and your abilities. And then, when your confidence disappears, expect your self-esteem to follow.

Your ego uses your voice to tell you things that others have said, and lead you to believe were true about yourself. But the majority of what your little voice tells you are lies. Someone in your distant past, when you were too young to argue, planted the seed that you were in some way inferior to others, perhaps even defective. You accepted it because you thought it was the truth. Now I’m telling you, it’s not.

The bad news is that you probably have a strong ego that gains pleasure in putting you down. The good news is you can eliminate your ego. A Course in Miracles discusses this in great detail, but it really is just a matter of refusing to listen to your ego. When that little voice starts talking to you you have a choice. You can listen and let its words take hold in your conscious mind and feel fear, or you can say to your ego, thanks for the advice, but no thanks. And let those negative thoughts disappear. It may take some time for your ego to finally listen to you. So, never never give up.

Love,

Michael

Desire Without Expectation

21 Aug

Desire without expectation is nothing more than wishful thinking.  The vast majority of people wish positive but expect negative.  (Your Name) expect only positive things to flow to you. ~A Born Rich Affirmation

 

Please, let me first define what an affirmation is: According to Scott Armstrong of the Boulder Coaching Academy, “Affirmations, really, are simple. They are you being in conscious control of your thoughts. They are short, powerful statements. When you say them or think them or even hear them, they become the thoughts that create your reality. Affirmations, then, are your conscious thoughts.”

Often when I ask the Universe for what I want to manifest in my life I often use the word desire. For example: If I’m asking for a perfect day I’ll say; Infinite Spirit, my desire is for a perfect day today. A day where everything comes my way and where everything goes my way. Or, Infinite Spirit, I desire to write a magnificent blog. One that touches and inspires every person who reads it.

To just desire this perfect day or magnificent blog is wishful thinking. For a desire to become reality requires that it be backed-up by expectation. Meaning, I must have faith that the day I ask for will indeed be the day I receive, or the blog I wrote will inspire the people I wanted it to. Expectation is that faith.

Now here is where most people trip up. They ask their higher power for what they want, but a little voice in the back of their mind whispers to them, “You can ask for it all you want but you probably won’t get it.” And when they don’t receive what they asked for they believe that the Universe has conspired against them. When in reality they really didn’t fully expect it in the first place.

Here is the formula: Ask + Faith + Expectation = Whatever You Desire

With Love,

Michael

Doing Whatever it Takes! Maybe?

7 Aug

Over my career I’ve hired, trained and managed thousands of salespeople. But I was often baffled. Why did some people who I thought would be in the top 10% of producers fail to achieve the results I expected of them, while others whom I thought of as less talented, rose up to be my best people? I came to the conclusion that the top producers in any company were those who were able to face their fears and do whatever was necessary to achieve their goals.

These were the people who overpowered their fears and outsold their colleagues by huge margins. These were the salespeople who stood-up, faced their fears, and did whatever it took to get the business.

Today, a great deal of my work is with franchisors and franchisees who sell in the B2B and B2C markets. These markets, as opposed to restaurants and other retail stores, require the franchise owner to sell. Unfortunately, the majority of franchise buyers have had very little experience in selling. Many have never sold and the thought of themselves as salespeople can literally make them physically ill.

Buying a franchise is a major life changing event. Often it will take every dollar these people have, and then some. The “then some” are often loans from family and friends and banks (if their credit is good and they’re lucky). With no salary or income until the business is profitable there is a lot riding on their ability to make the business successful.

Often, because of their fear of selling, these struggling business owners spend the majority of their time doing operational functions that really don’t matter if there are no customers. I call this make-work. The new franchisee thinks they’re busy every day and then in a matter of a year or two they have to shut their doors. Most likely they’ll blame their failure on not having enough working capital upfront. This excuse makes them feel better, but think about this. Would the income coming in from paying customers solve the lack of working capital problem? Of course it would.

The things that stop these fledgling entrepreneurs from success are the very things that stop so many salespeople from achieving their quotas. The fear of active prospecting. If franchise owners and struggling salespeople can overpower their fear of these 8 active prospecting activities they can literally double and even triple their incomes without even improving their closing ratio.

ACTIVE PROSPECTING ACTIVITIES

Networking – Five Events a Week

Drop-In Calling – After Every Sales Call

Joining Boards and Committees

Doing Free Talks – One a Month

Joining Multiple Referral Networks

Providing Seminars – Once a Quarter

Cold Calling – 25 Dials a Day

Asking for Referrals From Every Customer

Every salesperson I have ever hired or trained and every franchisee I have ever worked with always swore they would do whatever it took to succeed. But, there were always stipulations. And they always sound the same; as long as I don’t have to (blank, blank, blank).

If you are a franchisee or a salesperson and you want to succeed then you must do WHATEVER IT TAKES to make it happen! And that includes everything you see on that list above, with no excuses and no bullshit!

With Love,

Michael