Tag Archives: self-confidence

Giving Up the Old for the New!

20 Dec

The crucial element of the vacuum law of prosperity is that I must let go of the old, before I can ever make room for the new. ~From the book Born Rich

I’ve often thought about why it is so difficult for people to change, to turn their life around, even when it’s not going in the direction that they’d like? We all know people like this. It’s one disappointment after another. One catastrophe after another. One failure after another.

Because I am an expert on fear I’m going to submit that it is fear that prevents people from changing. But fear of what? Here’s where it gets a little tricky. Is it fear of failure? But this individual has already failed at things in their life. Is it fear of rejection? I’m sure they’ve already been rejected and not just once. Is it fear of embarrassment and humiliation? Perhaps, but everyone feels embarrassed and even humiliated at times, even those with high self-esteem and self-confidence. No, I’m going to suggest that it’s the fear of the unknown.

We, as modern day human beings, live in comfort zones. They make us feel safe and secure. But, it is our inborn fears that prevent us from venturing outside the limits of these zones. Even when, in our imagination we can clearly see the perfect person we long to be; one who is happy, secure, successful, self-confident and a winner, we are still afraid to take a risk and make changes to our lives.

I can understand why people would choose to live with the same old, same old. It’s known and it’s safe. To us the unknown is a very scary place. We believe in that old axiom, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” And so we don’t give up the bird in our hand, even though it may be sickly and dying (think of your job or relationship), to risk going after the two plumper birds in the bush.

There is a universal law that says that nature abhors a vacuum. What that means is that as soon as you give up one thing, another comes in to fill the void. And most often the new thing is better than the old thing you gave up.

The above quote is out of the book Born Rich and is a positive affirmation. As long as you hold to the fear that by giving up the old nothing new will come to you, you won’t risk making the changes that will bring you your perfect life. As you take the first steps on your journey the first old thing to give up is this old belief. And you do it by repeating the positive affirmation above. At first, your mind won’t believe it is true. But repeat it over and over to yourself daily and in time it will become the truth. At that point you will now be comfortable enough to give up the old you, for the new you. This new magnificent perfect you.



Do You Really Need Your Ego?

29 May

Your ego is your friend. Am I right? No! That’s WRONG! Your ego is your sworn enemy. In fact, if you died tomorrow, your ego could not care less. Of course, when your body dies, your ego dies too. But your ego doesn’t know that.

At birth you had no ego. But as you grew you began to develop this ego to help distinguish your being from others. My name, Michael Luckman, and my ego differentiate me from all other humans. And thus I live and act in an ego based world.

The reason I dislike the ego so much is because it constantly compares us to others. We ask ourselves: Am I as smart as Roger? Is my home larger than my neighbor’s? Am I taller than John? Is Bob a better baseball player? Am I as pretty as Suzy? Is my car more expensive than Sam’s? Is my dress sexier than Sharon’s.

When the answers to these inquiries are yes, you feel pretty good about yourself. But what happens when the answer comes back a no? What then?

Typically, the first emotion you feel is fear, and a total emptiness inside. Then comes a loss of self-esteem followed by a loss of self-confidence. And when that happens you are unable to function at your best; at work, at home and at play.

What would happen if you killed off your ego and stopped listening to it? Actually nothing. Nothing, except for the disappearance of all negative feelings of jealousy, frustration, fear, rage, shame, anger, embarrassment, depression, inferiority and worry (did I miss anything?).

Not a bad tradeoff. Right?

With Love,


Ignorance + Confidence = Success

22 Jan

All you need is ignorance and confidence and success is sure. -Mark Twain

I would like to use the above quote to talk about starting your own business. I have started a number of companies over the years and I can attest to the validity of Mark Twain’s quote. Although I cannot necessarily agree that “success is sure.”

It takes a fair amount of guts to start one’s own business and a lot of naiveté. I wish I could tell you that I had the guts when I started my first company, Michael Luckman and Associates, but if you’ve read my book you know that’s not true. I started my company after I was fired from my marketing position at National Semiconductor.

I’ve always had tremendous admiration for anyone who started their own business. But especially for those who have a dream and then leave the security of regular employment to start their own enterprise.   But it really doesn’t matter if you leave a secure life voluntarily or involuntarily, you will still be faced with the most awesome and debilitating emotion, FEAR.

Starting any new venture, no matter what your experience, is scary. You will be faced with many new situations that you have never faced before, but you learn as you go. Simple things like should I incorporate or be a sole proprietor, to borrowing money from friends, family and banks. Everything you do will be cloaked in fear. But that’s to be expected. After all, you’re only human.

So, moving past the ignorance part, let’s talk about confidence. Nobody can instill you with confidence. Yes, others can motivate you. They can tell you that you can do it. That you’re smart, intelligent and that you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. That you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. But when everything is said and done, your confidence in yourself must come from within. This is why I have such a strong belief in God and the Universe.

I believe that each of us is a part of God. And that part dwells within us. It speaks to us in ways that we don’t fully recognize and often ignore. Some refer to it as our sixth sense or our gut instinct. There are times we wish it would just scream out to us, DON’T DO THAT!!! But because God gave us free choice he will never give you more than you ask for. And there lies the problem. Most of us don’t ask. I certainly didn’t at the beginning.

I think perhaps I was overconfident. I believed I could do it all with just sheer willpower. I wasted a lot of time and energy swimming upstream against the current believing this was the way to go. It wasn’t. Once I asked for guidance everything changed. I entered the water and let God and the Universe guide me. Instead of going in the direction “I felt” was right I allowed myself to go the other way. I did not panic, but let the current take me to where God wanted me to go.

My advice: Know that you can do it, and never be afraid to ask for help.

May you always be blessed,