Tag Archives: regrets

In This Moment Your Future Begins!

29 Mar

I’ve got a high school pal and every time we talk it’s always about the girls we used to date, the fun we used to have and the things we used to do. As if nothing of great import was accomplished in the intervening years.

I’ve got another friend that is always reliving the wrong choices she made in her past, the men she dated and married, and the opportunities she missed.

And then there’s my buddy who always does well but is constantly worried about something in his future that will probably never come to pass. And in doing so never really enjoys what he has now.

What I’d like to tell them is what my friends in New Jersey would say, “fugged aboud it!” And after that I’d like to tell them that the Universe always gives them exactly what they think about, worry about and give emotion to. With their minds consumed with past mistakes and worries of the future they are missing two vital components of life; one, the ability to enjoy their life now, in this moment, and two, using this moment to create the future that they truly desire.

Life must be lived in the moment. Only this moment counts. Your future is created in this moment. What do you think happens when you live in the past? You recreate your past, mistakes and all their baggage, in your future.

And what do you think happens when you spend your time worrying about the future? You create in your future the very things you worry about. Your worries come to life.

Because you create your life in the moment, and through your thoughts, choose those thoughts carefully and wisely.

Life is a gift when lived in the present. That’s why it’s called the present. And like any gift, just unwrap it and enjoy it.

With Love,

Michael

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No Regrets!

20 Mar

Recently I was made aware of a wonderful book written by an Australian palliative care nurse by the name of Bronnie Ware, entitled, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. Each of the five regrets is monumental, but I would like to talk about regret number one which seems to be the most common; I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I have written about this very subject many times before and had discussed my father as an example in my book Overpowering Fear. My dad was a complicated and frustrated man. He loved his father dearly (and so did I), but his mother was a totally different story. She was without a doubt a dark and angry woman, dissatisfied with life she made the lives of others around her barely tolerable.

My dad grew up to be a very demonstrative and loving man. Easily manipulated by the women in his life to be the perfect son, the perfect husband. Not necessarily because he wanted to be but because it was demanded of him as he grew up. But underneath all this was a frustrated man with a simmering rage buried just below the surface. A rage that could turn him in an instant from a Dr. Jekyll into a Mr. Hyde. Living with my dad was like constantly walking on eggshells. You never knew when one would break and he’d fly into a rage. And then watch out.

As my father got older he seemed to mellow. He realized his rage and apologized many times for the father he was. I accepted his apologies and sort of minimized all the pain he caused me by telling him, I knew his mother. You see, both my two brothers and I became rage-a-holics too. You might say it was in the genes, but I believe it was learned behavior.

I wished my dad and I talked more. I was so afraid of him that our conversations never really scratched the surface. I never really got to understand him, but like I said, I knew my grandmother into my twenties, so I can easily imagine where his anger and frustration came from.

My dad would often preface his desires by saying, “Someday, I’m going to have this.” Or “Someday, I’d like to do that.” But the somedays came and went and none was ever accomplished. In looking back I think he was afraid to tell my mother and us kids what he would really like in his life. In fact, I don’t think he even knew what he wanted in his life, because his dreams and his goals were never part of the equation. He was raised to be the obedient son and husband, and the demanding but uninvolved father.

My dad has been gone for nineteen years now and I miss him every day. I wish I’d gotten to know him better. If I could offer one piece of advice to my children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, it is this: You have but one life to live. It is yours to do with as you please. Let the lies others have told you about yourself dissolve into nothingness, and leave your mind forever. They were never true to begin with. Overpower your fears and recognize that you are perfect as you are. In fact, you are God’s greatest miracle. You were created to follow your own heart and to live your own dreams, never another’s. May you never have to die with a single regret.

With Love,

Michael

The Winter of My Life!

29 Jan

My sister sent me this today. I found it so true and so beautiful that I had to pass it on. I searched the internet for its author but could find no one to attribute it to. But I know that you’re out there and I want to thank you for bringing me this joy that is in my heart, and the tears on my cheeks.

You know. . . Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate.

And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all.

And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams…But, here it is… The winter of my life and it catches me by surprise…How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go? I remember well.

Seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like…But, here it is…My friends are retired and getting grey…They move slower and I see an older person now.

Some are in better and some worse shape than me…But, I see the great change…Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant…But, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we’d be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore… it’s mandatory! Cause if I don’t on my own free will…I will just fall asleep where I sit.

And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!

Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn’t done…Things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I’m happy to have done. It’s all in a lifetime…So, if you’re not in your winter yet…Let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. Whatever you would like to accomplish in your life, please do it quickly!

Don’t put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life…So, live for today and say all the things you want your loved ones to remember…And hope they appreciate and love you for all the things you have done for them in all the years past!

Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.

And remember, live your life in the moment. The past is gone and the future just a dream.

My love to you,

Michael