Tag Archives: public speaking

Could you learn to love public speaking?

11 Nov

In my book Overpowering Fear – Defeating the #1 Challenge in Sales and Life I talk about giving an acceptance speech in New York for an award my company won and how utterly scared I was. So scared that when I returned home to San Jose I immediately enrolled in a Dale Carnegie course to learn to overpower my fear of public speaking. The classes were one evening a week for 8 weeks and were divided into three sections: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. How to Win Friends and Influence People. And my favorite (the reason I was there) Effective Public Speaking.

I loved the procedure they used for choosing the topic we would talk about each week. They would call us up one at a time and when the person before us started their 2 minute talk we picked a small folded piece of paper out of a basket. On that piece of paper was the subject of our speech. We now had less than 120 seconds to come up with what we wanted to talk about and put it into some type of order, and it had to last for the full two minutes. And believe me, those were long minutes.

Talk about tough. This was trial by fire. I remember the fear I felt in my gut each time I did it. What was comforting was knowing everyone in the class had to go through the very same thing, and I’m sure felt the same fear. But by the end of the 8 week course everyone in the class could get up and instantaneously talk for a full 2 minutes, on almost any subject.

Today I love getting up in front of groups and talking. Do I ever feel fear? Certainly. We never fully get over fear. What we want to learn is to walk through it. To overpower the fear. To not let it stop us. Feel it, acknowledge it, and then go ahead and do it anyway. What’s the worst thing that’s going to happen to you? Make a mistake? So what. That’s what life is for. How else would we ever learn?

How many times do babies pull themselves up only to lose their balance and fall down on their padded little bottoms? If they gave up because of fear of failing the majority of the world would be crawling their way to work. Can you picture that? Only the fearless ones would be standing tall and walking. So, which one are you, the crawler or the walker?




Act Like the Person You Want to Become

10 Jul

Another Born Rich Affirmation: I Must Act Like The Person I Want To Become

Before I begin, let me first define what an affirmation is: According to Scott Armstrong of the Boulder Coaching Academy, “Affirmations, really, are simple. They are you being in conscious control of your thoughts. They are short, powerful statements. When you say them or think them or even hear them, they become the thoughts that create your reality. Affirmations, then, are your conscious thoughts.”

Creating the life you desire is not always easy. It requires you to monitor and let go of the approximately 54,000 negative thoughts that scientists tell us each of us thinks in a day.

Now I know you’re thinking “how can I possibly monitor 54,000 thoughts every single day?” But, it is actually easier than you might think.  Each of us has been given a wonderful tool for recognizing when we are thinking a negative thought. Negative thoughts generate negative feelings. Now obviously you are not going to “feel” 54,000 thoughts, since most are just transitory. But some, like fear, last longer and you physically feel them. It is these thoughts that you have to recognize and replace with a positive thought.

And this is where affirmations come into play. When feeling fear you counter it by repeating a positive affirmation. The above affirmation works to counteract many different fears. Here are some examples:

Afraid to pick-up the phone and call someone:  Say again and again to yourself: I must act like the person I want to become – a fearless sales professional with a strong confident voice.

Afraid of networking or socializing: Say time after time to yourself: I must act like the person I want to become – an accomplished individual who loves meeting and speaking with new friends.

Afraid to reach out and ask someone out on a date: Say repeatedly to yourself: I must act like the person I want to become – a loving human being who is the perfect date for the right person.

Afraid to speak in public: Say regularly to yourself: I must act like the person I want to become – a confident person who has important ideas and thoughts to share publicly with others.

And don’t tell me you can’t act. Everybody can act. And the more you act the easier it becomes.

With Love,


Giving Your Own Eulogy!

30 Jan

Studies have shown that people’s #1 fear is speaking in public. Fortunately you won’t have to give the eulogy at your own funeral. ~Michael Luckman

As many of you know, I closed my sales training business several years ago to follow my passion. For the past twenty plus years I have been studying why we as human beings experience fear when faced with a threat of bodily harm. Well that’s an easy one to answer, survival. Okay, that’s not the question. The real question I have been trying to answer is; why do we experience the same fear, the same physiological responses when facing an imaginary fear, like walking up to a complete stranger or getting up front of a group of people to share with them something that is important? Unless you’re in the wrong neighborhood, why do we tremble at introducing ourselves to a stranger? Or, why do we fear our mind will go blank when we get up to speak?

The reason I have made a study of fear is that fear has been my nemesis since I was a child. Not a day went by that I didn’t experience fear. As I looked back on my life I realized that although I felt fear almost constantly, I had this ability to push through my fears and do what was necessary, whether it was walking onto a sports field, or knocking on a neighbor’s door to sell them something.

But I didn’t always overpower my fears. There were many times I gave into fear and allowed fear to win. And when fear won, I lost. It could have been closing a large account or failing to take advantage of a new opportunity. As a sales trainer I recognized myself in most of my students. Typically they were afraid to use all that I taught them because fear stood in their way.

After ten years of this I felt it was time to write my book Overpowering Fear – Defeating the #1 Challenge in Sales and Life. The book opened up for me the opportunity to fulfill my real passion, and that is to travel the world doing corporate keynotes and workshops. Overpowering fear was not only for salespeople, but for every employee in an organization who let’s their fears stand in the way of their success.

This has led to a second passion, speaking to college students. I have always believed a degree will get you a job, but it is these five life skills that will get you a successful career.

  • Learn How to Sell – Even Rich-Dad Robert Kiyosaki said everyone needs this skill.
  • Learn How to Network – Not on the internet, but in person. The stronger your network the greater the chances for success.
  • Learn How to Speak in Public – Nothing will get you noticed in your industry quicker than public speaking.
  • Understand Cause and Effect – Knowing this universal law will keep you out of trouble and if you’re lucky, put you in the right place at the right time.
  • Learn to Tell Stories – From our tribal past people love to learn through stories.

If you know a college looking for a speaker with a different message I would appreciate an introduction to the right person. If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area and know a high school that would like me to speak about Overpowering Fear and learning these five life skills, please let me know that too. Colleges are fee based. High schools are free.

My best to you always,