Tag Archives: feelings

I Am What I Am!

30 Jan

Or as Popeye the Sailor Man put it, “I yam what I yam!” But what does it mean when we use this simple phrase, or when someone tells us, I am what I am. To me it speaks volumes. It says; this is who I am. I cannot change. Either accept me “as is” or forget about it. To me it’s just another whine of the powerless.

Every living thing in the universe, from the tiniest microbe to us, the most sophisticated and intelligent animal on earth, have been created to evolve. To adapt to a changing environment. It’s built into our DNA. Without change no species survives.

So why do so many people, people we know and love, refuse to even consider changing, even when faced with a looming disaster, like the loss of a relationship or of a career. My belief it is fear. Fear is the strongest emotion we face and we face it on a daily basis. We fear rejection. We fear embarrassment. And most of all, we fear the unknown, the scariest fear of all. And change is nothing more than giving up the old for the new. Be it a new way of thinking, a new attitude or a new behavior.

As modern day people we live in comfort zones, doing only those things that make us feel safe and secure. Whenever faced with the prospect of doing something new we find ourselves pushed up against the boundaries of those zones. Immediately fear begins to flood our bodies and we begin to have self-doubts. What if I don’t succeed? What if I fail? What if I lose my friends and social network when I no longer agree with them? What if don’t like the person I become? And so, we allow fear to win and paralyze us into doing nothing. But whenever fear wins understand that we lose.

There is a basic law of the universe that says; nature abhors a vacuum. This means, that as soon as you let go of your old beliefs, attitudes and behaviors new ones will take their place. And, almost always, the new ones are far better than the old ones they replaced.

If you’re faced with a failing marriage, a rocky relationship with your kids or challenges at work, maybe it’s time to face your fears and make that conscious decision to change. I’m not going to tell you it’s easy. But, I will tell you this; once you face and overpower your fears your life will become easier, and the joy and the happiness you have been seeking will begin to flow effortlessly to you.

Life is nothing more than a continuous series of choices. Therefore, choose wisely!

With Love,

Michael

You Only Have One Life!

18 Nov

Luckman’s Law: The bad news: you only have one life. The good news: you can start living your perfect life anytime you choose. Make that choice NOW!

How many people do you know who are always complaining about their life? Their past was a dismal failure. They grieve for all the things they should have done and could have done.  And their future is even scarier for they fear it will be a repeat of their past. You may even be one of these people.

Well, the past is gone. There is not a thing any of us can do about it. But there is good news. Each of us has been given the gift to change our circumstances and consequently the life we are living at any given moment — we decide. Yes, we all have that POWER.

You are not helpless. You have just forgotten how really powerful you are. Decide this very moment to reclaim your power. And this is how you do it.

Change your thoughts

Right now you may feel scared and uncertain about your life. And all that fear comes from the thoughts you dwell upon. When feeling down and dejected ask yourself, “What am I thinking?” My guess, it is a negative thought. Now let go of the thought. First, thank it for coming to you and then let it go. Now, replace it with a positive thought. You may say, “Thank you for this thought about (__________). I now let go of this thought and replace it with this thought (_____________).” And, don’t say it doesn’t work for you. It works for everyone. Just give it time.

At the beginning you might think it’s not working because that voice in your head says it won’t. That voice is your ego and your ego is not your friend. It wants you to fail. The more you do this the less you’ll hear from your ego.

Use these two most important words “I Am” to declare to the Universe your perfection. Repeat these positive affirmations as often as you can throughout the day.

I am Powerful.

I am a Winner.

I am Smart.

I am Talented.

I am Lovable.

I am Exceptional.

I am Perfect.

I am Deserving of Everything.

Make up your own “I am” statements. It’s easy and they work.

Love,

Michael

I Don’t Know What to Say

4 Nov

A couple of months ago my mother passed away. I posted a short message to my friends on Facebook and was soon overwhelmed by the sheer number of messages of sympathy and comfort I received back. In difficult situations like this social media really comes in handy.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with an old friend about a year ago. He shared with me that he had heard that the wife of an old friend that we used to work with years earlier, had recently passed away. Neither of us had spoken with this friend for a quite a while, and, when I asked him if he had called to offer his condolences he said, “No, I haven’t but I really want to. But I never know what to say in these situations.”

This seems to be a very common occurrence. You don’t know what to say even though your heart feels the emotion you so want to express. It’s happened to me. In fact, when I was a younger man I almost always felt uncomfortable speaking with people older than myself and expressing my sympathies or just my concerns. Why, was that? I’m really not sure. But obviously I felt fear around it.

Maybe I was afraid I’d say the wrong thing. That would definitely get my face to glow red. Or, maybe I feared that whatever I said would be taken the wrong way. Then for days afterward I’d be beating myself up about what an idiot I was.

I remember once, I was on this board, and one of the members approached another and expressed his sympathies on the death of that man’s wife. I hadn’t heard that she died but I was afraid to even mention my sympathies for fear that maybe, since we didn’t know each other that well, my words would sound counterfeit and insincere. And so, to my shame, I did nothing.

As I’ve gotten older I realize how crazy all of this is. It’s was my crazy thoughts that were keeping me from reaching out to another human being with emotions that were both heartfelt and genuine. I learned to overpower my fear of doing this by just doing it. I learned not to be afraid of what to say. Just about anything you say will be greatly appreciated. I know because I have been on the receiving end.

But, if you need something to say try these. For a death: I am so sorry for the loss of your father. I know this is a very difficult time for you. So if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. For an illness: I am so sorry to hear about your wife’s illness. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know you’re probably going to be stretched thin in dealing with this. So, if I can be of any help I would welcome your call.

With just the changing of a few words either of the above statements can be altered for any situation and give voice to whatever it is your heart is saying.

Love,

Michael

Can Fear be a Gift?

30 Oct

The majority of my blogs and articles about fear describe it in negative terms. How fear prevents us from truly living the life we wish for ourselves. How it keeps us from having, being and doing the things we most desire.

Today, I’d like to talk about the positive side of fear. And yes, there is a positive side. You see if our ancestors hadn’t experienced fear there is a good chance you and I would not be here today. No blog and no readers.

Like most animals, we of the human species have a built in early warning system to protect us from dangerous situations. It’s very much like the burglar alarm systems many of us have in our homes. It starts with the alarm itself found in the oldest part of our reptilian brain, a nodule known as the amygdala. The amygdala receives signals from our five senses very much like the burglar alarm that is connected to the windows and doors in our homes. When any of those doors or windows are breeched signals are sent to the alarm and it begins to ring.

The amygdala is always working monitoring what we see, hear, smell, taste and feel. If any one of these sensors suspects danger it immediately notifies the amygdala to prepare the body for what we refer to as, fight or flight. Perfect for when a wild beast looks at us and thinks dinner, or a hostile neighboring tribe is looking to conquer our village, make us slaves and steal our wives and daughters.

The first thing that happens when our amygdala suspects danger is to determine if the danger is real. This takes but nano seconds. If it does sense we are in danger it goes into action: The body is bathed in hormones, most notably adrenaline. The heart beats faster. The lungs take in more oxygen to mix with the sugars in the blood to produce more energy. Our senses sharpen. And, the blood supply is redirected away from the digestive track to the muscles. Our body is now ready to fight for our very lives, or run to escape our attackers.

When this happened to our ancestors they survived. We are living proof of that. So fear is definitely good, a gift.

But here is the weird part. Your amygdala doesn’t know the difference between a signal from your five senses, or a delusional thought you hold in your mind. So if you’re a salesperson who has to call a prospect and you’re afraid they’ll get mad at you and hang-up, your body will feel the fear and respond in a similar fashion to being chased by a pit bull. If there is someone you want to meet at a social gathering and you’re frozen in place by fear that you’ll be rejected and humiliated, your body is feeling the same stresses it would if you were confronted by a mugger on a dark street. This certainly doesn’t make much sense now, does it?

So, learn the difference between real fear that protects you from danger, and delusional fear that robs you of all the things that would add joy and happiness to your life. Once you do this, your life will never be the same.

Love,

Michael

What You Are Thinking is What You Are Feeling!

11 Oct

What Are You Thinking?

Let’s begin with some bad news. Social scientists report that you have around 60,000 thoughts in a day. Of which, 54,000 can be classified as negative. The remaining 6,000 thoughts are positive.

It’s been said that you are what you think, so do the math. For every positive thought you have in a day you think nine negative ones. NINE! No wonder our mantra is, “Same crap, different day!”

But it’s not just the trash talking thoughts about you that you thought today. You’re the sum total of every thought you have entertained going back to when you were a young child. And, every negative comment you’ve heard others say to you or about you.

Think you’re a klutz? You’ll be tripping over things. Think you’re stupid? You’re almost guaranteed to fail the test. Think you are a procrastinator? Nothing will ever get done. Think you have two left feet? You’ll never learn to dance. Think you’re poor? You’ll never get rich.

We become exactly what we think.

And Feeling?

Here’s some more bad news for you. If you are feeling sad, lonely, fearful, dejected, doubtful, worried – you can thank those 54,000 negative thoughts. Yes, it’s true. Negative thoughts create negative feelings.

I suggest everyone learn to monitor their thoughts and replace every negative thought with a positive one. Now that you know a negative thought will generate a negative feeling it is easy to monitor and change the wrong thought to the right one.

Change your thoughts and you change your mind. Change your mind and you change your life.

With Love,

Michael

Doubt is Negative Thinking

9 Sep

Doubt is negative thinking and your subconscious mind will take your worrisome and doubtful images and will accept them just as quickly and as willingly as it will your images of prosperity. ~Another Born Rich Affirmation

The amazing thing about the subconscious mind is that it cannot differentiate between what is real and what is not real. We have all heard stories about famous athletes who create a picture in their mind of how they want their body to perform. Then they just go ahead and do it precisely as they imagined it. It becomes like second nature to them

This gift is not exclusive to athletes or for that matter rich people. It has been given to each of us to use or not use as we see fit.

To hasten the flow of all the good things you want to enter your life, you need to use your subconscious mind to its fullest extent. And to do this, you need to provide your subconscious mind with detailed pictures of what you want to come into existence. And here lies the problem.

Our minds generate upwards of 60,000 thoughts in a day, and better than 90% of those thoughts are negative. So it stands to reason that our subconscious minds generate more negative things in our lives than positive things. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We each have the power to change this.

That’s true. We have this innate power to change our thoughts and thus change our lives. Want to hit that perfect drive right down the middle of the fairway? Create a picture in your mind of doing just that. Add all the detail necessary to create your scenario. Want to get an “A” on your next exam? See yourself taking the test effortlessly with every answer coming with the question. See the test returned to you with an “A” at the top next to your name. Want to give the perfect presentation? In your mind see yourself walking through your presentation with perfect accuracy. And when you actually do it your subconscious mind will follow the script exactly as you wrote it.

Remember, you’re the writer, producer and director of each and every scenario you create in your mind. So don’t forget, you’re creating an Academy Award production. Don’t skimp on the details and short change yourself.

All successful people use their subconscious minds to create prosperity. You can do it too.

Love,

Michael

Fear Within the Sexes

24 Jul

At their core, women fear that men will kill them. At their core, men fear that women will laugh at them. ~Gavin de Becker

This will be the first time that I’ve written a blog on quotes where I’m only knowledgeable on half of the quote. Having never been a woman, nor have any desire to be, I can’t speak on the first part of the quote “women fear that men will kill them.” But I certainly can speak to the male part, AND IT IS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

From a very early age boys strive to impress girls. It’s our nature. We may even deny any interest in girls but our egos are tightly intertwined with what they think of us. We don’t possess a magnificent plume of feathers to make an impression with, but we are quite capable of doing and saying some very stupid things. What we fear is female rejection.

As we get older this fear intensifies. It begins about junior high when we begin to see the opposite sex in a whole new light, and it never ends. Not in high school, college or anytime in our lives. We carry this fear with us always.

Let me ask the women reading this article; Have you ever seen a man that you’d like to meet spend a great deal of time looking at you, but never approaches you to introduce himself? You’re probably wondering what’s wrong with him. And you may even start to think, what’s wrong with me? There is nothing wrong with you. It’s all about him. And here is the kicker, the more attractive the woman the more fear the man experiences.

Until I read this quote by Mr. de Becker I always believed that our fear was in just being rejected, but it is more than that. What we really fear is being laughed at, which to us, is the ultimate rejection. Our egos cannot tolerate being the object of a women’s laughter.

When laughed at some men will slink away to lick their wounds, but others will respond in a more negative fashion. I think it depends on how much their ego is tied in with their feelings of self-worth. It is these men that add credence to the first part of this quote.

What’s the answer? You tell me.

With love,

Michael