Tag Archives: facing fear

Fear Has its Cost – What Have You Lost Out On?

12 Jul

Often when we face a fear the only thoughts we have are in finding a way to get as far away from the fear as possible. This would be the opposite of facing the fear and doing what was needed to do. It is avoiding the fear to free ourselves from the negative thoughts and feelings of guilt and perhaps shame we are beginning to experience.

Our minds churn as we create excuses and reasons as to why we can’t do what we fear. When we’ve created enough excuses, backed by “solid” reasons, then, and only then, do we begin to feel better about our self.

We convince ourselves that if we called on a certain person or business with the hopes of doing business with them, they’d probably say no. Or if they told us they were happy with their current supplier we’d take their word at face value, and slink away because we’re too afraid to ask them questions about the things they are unhappy with about their current supplier. Or, if there is a certain person we’d like to get to know but fear convinces us that they probably wouldn’t want to go out with us, because (You Pick): I’m not attractive enough; I’m too nervous; I’ll probably embarrass myself; They probably want to date more popular people; They’re out of my league.

Every fear that we avoid can be quantified and we can then see in black and white what we lost out on when we avoided facing our fear head on.

The salesperson who knows that if she makes a set number of cold calls each day she will meet her numbers at the end of the month, and earn the commission she deserves and desires. But if fear stands in her way and causes her to make fewer cold calls she will know at the end of the month exactly what that fear has cost her. All she has to do is look at her commission statement.

What about the young man who learns that a position at his company has opened up that he would be perfect for, but doesn’t apply because he’d be intimidated by his new manager. It would be easy to quantify what he has lost out on. All he need do is subtract his current salary from what his new salary would have been and the difference is what he lost. And then multiply that number by the number of years he’d hold that position. But that’s only the beginning. He lost out on much more: Added prestige; Recognition by higher ups; Placement on the fast track, and so many others.

Take a moment and review the last 30 days. What fears have you given in to? Then ask yourself, “What have I lost out on? I have a feeling you’re not going to like the answer.

With love,