Tag Archives: doubt

From Failure to Success!

10 Dec

Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success. ~Napoleon Hill

It is my belief that each of us is born for greatness and that each of us deserves to have everything that we desire. But how many of us actually achieve this, our destiny? Not many I’m afraid.

In my lifetime I’ve known people who seemed to have all the attributes for success; intelligence, charisma, charm, personality, and a host of other qualities. Yet, no matter the industry or other career path they’ve chosen, they have always struggled. And I’ve known people who lacked most of what my first example possessed, yet they have risen to the top, almost effortlessly. If you managed a sales force or owned your own company you know what I mean.

Up until about a dozen years ago I was like most people, baffled why some succeeded while others of greater talent floundered. I had an inkling that it might be because of fear and the individuals inability to fight through and overpower their fears. Hey, all I had to do was look at myself, a fear based person since birth.

In studying fear I came to realize that all of us feel fear, very often the very same fears as others, but some have the ability to feel the fear, yet do what is necessary to succeed. While others allow fear to stop them in their tracks.

I came to realize that one of the greatest of all fears is the fear of failure. Most of us acquired this fear when we were quite young, probably after our egos got bruised when our classmates laughed at us for a wrong answer. As we got older this fear actually grew and we began to avoid taking risks in our lives. Risk is nothing more than giving up the known for the unknown. But the unknown almost always includes failure.

When you were just an infant you learned how to crawl, then you learned how to pull yourself up to a wobbly standing position, albeit holding on to something for support. Then you let go of that support and took your first step. Did you then race across the room doing back flips? No, you probably plopped back down to the floor. So, you crawled back to that table or chair for support and started all over again. Did you think of yourself as a failure? Of course not. This is how we all learn.

Was there a seed of success in failing and failing, and then finally learning how to walk? Of course there was; you learned to run, to jump, and to dance.  

I am now going to give you permission to fail. Yes, go ahead and take a risk. It’s OK to fail. Why do I want you to fail? Because that’s how you learn. That’s how you grow. And please remember this: Failing does not make you a failure. It just moves you one step closer to success, as long as you don’t give up.

Love,

Michael

What You Are Thinking is What You Are Feeling!

11 Oct

What Are You Thinking?

Let’s begin with some bad news. Social scientists report that you have around 60,000 thoughts in a day. Of which, 54,000 can be classified as negative. The remaining 6,000 thoughts are positive.

It’s been said that you are what you think, so do the math. For every positive thought you have in a day you think nine negative ones. NINE! No wonder our mantra is, “Same crap, different day!”

But it’s not just the trash talking thoughts about you that you thought today. You’re the sum total of every thought you have entertained going back to when you were a young child. And, every negative comment you’ve heard others say to you or about you.

Think you’re a klutz? You’ll be tripping over things. Think you’re stupid? You’re almost guaranteed to fail the test. Think you are a procrastinator? Nothing will ever get done. Think you have two left feet? You’ll never learn to dance. Think you’re poor? You’ll never get rich.

We become exactly what we think.

And Feeling?

Here’s some more bad news for you. If you are feeling sad, lonely, fearful, dejected, doubtful, worried – you can thank those 54,000 negative thoughts. Yes, it’s true. Negative thoughts create negative feelings.

I suggest everyone learn to monitor their thoughts and replace every negative thought with a positive one. Now that you know a negative thought will generate a negative feeling it is easy to monitor and change the wrong thought to the right one.

Change your thoughts and you change your mind. Change your mind and you change your life.

With Love,

Michael

People Who Rain on Our Parade

23 Sep

Have you ever had a great idea: for a new product, a new job, a new business, or even a move to another locale? You’re excited about whatever you have chosen, and can’t wait to share it with others.

And so you tell a friend or a family member and instead of getting a positive response that will reinforce your decision you get something like this. “What makes you think you can start a business? Don’t you know we’re in a recession? It takes a long time to get a business off the ground. You tried that once and you failed miserably.” “You want a new car? Can you afford it? Remember you’ve only been on your job 6 months.” “This is who you chose for a spouse? You can do much better than this. Why rush?”

What did it feel like when you heard those comments? I’ll bet they were painful. And I’ll bet even more that they made you feel lost, confused and fearful.

You started doubting yourself and your new idea. Then you probably said to yourself maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Why do people do this? When asked, most naysayers will tell you that they just want to help. That they want to prevent you from making a mistake. So they feel this compulsion to point out your past follies, mistakes and failures.

And if you challenge them they’ll usually reply with, “You’re just not being realistic!”

Bull. What’s really being said is, “I’m jealous. If you succeed you probably won’t be friends with me anymore. You’ll move out of the neighborhood and won’t ever come back. Your success will make me feel like a failure. My life will be ruined.”

So the next time you’ve got a great idea and someone rains on your parade, instead of feeling fear, take a good hard look at the person telling you these negative things. Then ask yourself, “Is this someone whose advice I value?” If the answer is no get away from them as quickly as possible. They’ll just bring you down.

Love,

Michael

Don’t Let Anybody Bully You!

19 Sep

Luckman’s Law: Don’t let anybody bully you, including your own ego.

The funny thing about this Luckman’s Law is that for most, we still allow others to bully us. It could be a boss, your co-workers, your customers or maybe even your spouse.

Nobody should be a bully and nobody should allow others to bully them.

The best response that I’ve found when confronted by a bully is to fight back. I’m not talking about swinging a right hook. I’m talking about standing up to the bully and let them know you aren’t going to stand there and take their crap. Most bullies depend upon their victim to cower in fear, and that’s because most do. But your average bully doesn’t expect you to respond in such a drastic fashion. And when confronted, typically backs down.

Now, let’s talk about a more insidious bully. Your ego. You see, my belief is that your ego is not your friend. Never has been and never will be. Your ego is there simply to compare you and your possessions to others. When you compare favorably you feel good. On top of the world. Ready to conquer any challenge. But when you are compared unfavorably, when you don’t measure up, the first emotion you feel is fear. Fear that you’re not good enough, rich enough, talented enough, deserving enough or whatever. When the fear comes your confidence goes. You feel uncertain and begin to doubt yourself, your talents and your abilities. And then, when your confidence disappears, expect your self-esteem to follow.

Your ego uses your voice to tell you things that others have said, and lead you to believe were true about yourself. But the majority of what your little voice tells you are lies. Someone in your distant past, when you were too young to argue, planted the seed that you were in some way inferior to others, perhaps even defective. You accepted it because you thought it was the truth. Now I’m telling you, it’s not.

The bad news is that you probably have a strong ego that gains pleasure in putting you down. The good news is you can eliminate your ego. A Course in Miracles discusses this in great detail, but it really is just a matter of refusing to listen to your ego. When that little voice starts talking to you you have a choice. You can listen and let its words take hold in your conscious mind and feel fear, or you can say to your ego, thanks for the advice, but no thanks. And let those negative thoughts disappear. It may take some time for your ego to finally listen to you. So, never never give up.

Love,

Michael

Doubt is Negative Thinking

9 Sep

Doubt is negative thinking and your subconscious mind will take your worrisome and doubtful images and will accept them just as quickly and as willingly as it will your images of prosperity. ~Another Born Rich Affirmation

The amazing thing about the subconscious mind is that it cannot differentiate between what is real and what is not real. We have all heard stories about famous athletes who create a picture in their mind of how they want their body to perform. Then they just go ahead and do it precisely as they imagined it. It becomes like second nature to them

This gift is not exclusive to athletes or for that matter rich people. It has been given to each of us to use or not use as we see fit.

To hasten the flow of all the good things you want to enter your life, you need to use your subconscious mind to its fullest extent. And to do this, you need to provide your subconscious mind with detailed pictures of what you want to come into existence. And here lies the problem.

Our minds generate upwards of 60,000 thoughts in a day, and better than 90% of those thoughts are negative. So it stands to reason that our subconscious minds generate more negative things in our lives than positive things. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We each have the power to change this.

That’s true. We have this innate power to change our thoughts and thus change our lives. Want to hit that perfect drive right down the middle of the fairway? Create a picture in your mind of doing just that. Add all the detail necessary to create your scenario. Want to get an “A” on your next exam? See yourself taking the test effortlessly with every answer coming with the question. See the test returned to you with an “A” at the top next to your name. Want to give the perfect presentation? In your mind see yourself walking through your presentation with perfect accuracy. And when you actually do it your subconscious mind will follow the script exactly as you wrote it.

Remember, you’re the writer, producer and director of each and every scenario you create in your mind. So don’t forget, you’re creating an Academy Award production. Don’t skimp on the details and short change yourself.

All successful people use their subconscious minds to create prosperity. You can do it too.

Love,

Michael

The Fear of Giving up Your Ego

17 Jun

In past blogs I talked about getting rid of your ego. I suggested killing it off so it will never again have the opportunity to stand in your way of having, being and doing all that you desire.

The reason I am so against the ego is that I believe it has only one function; to compare you and your possessions to others and their possessions. When you compare yourself favorably to another you feel pretty good about yourself, sort of superior. But, when your comparison finds you inferior to another it is a totally different story. A negative judgment manifests itself in fear, doubt, uncertainty and always disappointment.

Frequently these negative emotions cause us to lose confidence in ourselves along with our sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Often, we feel deflated and no longer the king of our domain. It becomes difficult to work at maximum efficiency, especially when our heart just isn’t in it.

The best example of this is the salesperson doing walk-ins and cold calls. When this person is rejected by the suspect, their ego, as the designated defender of their person, floods their mind with fear, uncertainty and doubt. These thoughts turn into the feelings of fear and emptiness felt within the body, and soon they’re ready to give up, to quit and throw in the towel.

While many people have agreed with this based upon the responses to my earlier blogs, many have expressed fear about what would happen to them if they did eliminate their ego. They saw the ego as their personality and their personality is how they are known, respected, valued and loved. Their fear is that they would no longer be themselves. That instead of the outgoing person with a terrific sense of humor they would now become a human zombie. Devoid of all emotions. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

When you voluntarily give up your ego the only thing that changes is the constant comparisons to others, and the negative feelings they engender. The loving, generous person with the funny personality doesn’t change one bit.

With no ego, you will now see people as who they really are and they’ll get to see the real you. Who could ask for anything better than that?

With love,

Michael

Courage

3 Jun

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. – Mark Twain

Wouldn’t it be nice to live a life completely free of fear? Where we could and would try anything new because we would not be constrained by those awful, uncomfortable feelings fear causes us.

Well, it’s not going to happen. Nor would we want it to. Without fear, some of us might decide to do some pretty stupid things in our quest to posthumously receive the Darwin award. So in some instances experiencing fear is a good thing.

But most of the fear we as normal humans experience daily is not real. It is created by the delusional negative thoughts we entertain. Something like 54,000 of the 60,000 thoughts the average person thinks in a day.

So, as Mark Twain said, we are never going to reach a place of total absence of fear. But, we can stop fear from negatively affecting our lives by resisting fear and mastering it. And we do that by changing the fearful thoughts we think to positive ones.

So the first thing we must do is identify a negative thought we are thinking. And here comes the tricky part, because I know you’re going to ask, “Michael, how do I do that?” Actually, it’s not that difficult once you get the hang of it.

How you feel at any given moment is a reflection of what you are thinking. A positive thought generates good feelings. A negative thought bad feelings.

Acknowledge when you’re feeling fearful, afraid, uncertain, or doubtful. Then stop and identify what you were just thinking. It should be easily recognizable as a negative thought. Then let go of that thought and replace it with a positive happy thought. In moments you’ll find yourself feeling better.

There are times when I like to ask my higher power for help in taking the negative thought from me. Typically, when that happens a positive thought will immediately come to fill the vacuum. I usually ask the Holy Spirit the following: Holy Spirit, I cast the burden of this negative fearful thought about ___________ on you, and I go free.” It is best to say this out loud and as many times as it takes to unburden yourself of the thought.

If at first this doesn’t work for you don’t worry, it will. As you make this a habit you’ll find your belief system will change until you reach a point where you ask your higher power to take your negative thought fully expecting it to disappear. And, it does.

With Love,

Michael

My Version of the Law of Attraction

8 May

The more you create through using The Law of Attraction, the easier it is to finally live the life of your dreams. ~Michael Luckman in Luckman’s Laws

If you haven’t been living under a rock for the last 10 years you probably have heard of the Secret and its message: The Law of Attraction.

But exactly what is this so-called universal law? And how does it work in your life? Simply put, it says that we attract into our lives that which we think about and put emotion to. In other words, your thoughts become the things in your life.

Now you’re probably thinking that sounds pretty good. I’ll just think about $1,000,000 to come to me and poof, there it is. Unfortunately, it’s as simple as that and as complicated as that.

Yes, the law states that our various thoughts all vibrate at a different rate. That those vibrating thoughts go out into the Universe and attract other like thoughts that vibrate at the same frequency. Thus creating all the good that one would want. But it is also a double-edged sword.

The challenge we face is that of the 60,000 thoughts scientists tell us each of us think in a day, 90%, or 54,000, are negative. This means that we have a 9 in 10 chance of creating negative things in our lives, the very things we don’t want, as opposed to the things we do want. That’s why we so often say the law doesn’t work for us. But it does. But only in reverse.

Now the complicated part. We must bar the door to negative thoughts. But considering that our minds generate so many thoughts in a day that it is near impossible. Except for one unique tool. We feel our thoughts. What I mean by this is your thoughts create feelings. Happy creative thoughts generate feelings of joy and happiness. Negative thoughts generate feelings of fear, uncertainty, doubt, worry and sadness. But, by feeling your negative thoughts, you can choose to change these thoughts to positive ones.

To make the Law of Attraction work for you follow this simple plan. 1) Ask the Universe (or your higher power) for what you want (positive thought). 2) Believe that it will indeed manifest in your life (faith). And, 3) Monitor your thoughts through your feelings. Never allowing negative thoughts to negate the positive ones.

It will take some work, but I can assure you that the law does work. And the results are fantastic!

With Love,

Michael

I Worried and Worried – But Nothing Happened

1 Apr

I have been through some terrible things in my life…some of which actually happened. – Mark Twain

When was the last time you had to give a speech or get up in front of your colleagues and make a presentation? Was it scary for you? Were you so afraid that you lost sleep over it?

For most people it is the epitome of terror. In fact more people fear public speaking than fear death itself. Fortunately, you won’t have to give the eulogy at your own funeral?

As scary as it was when you finally had to give your talk it was nowhere near as frightening as your mind made it out to be in the weeks leading up to the event. The fact is for most people the daily fear they feel regarding an upcoming event is often greater than the fear they feel at the time the event happens.

Why does this happen and what can you do about it? In my book, Overpowering Fear – Defeating the #1 Challenge in Sales and Life I talk about having to give a speech after accepting an award in New York City. For weeks leading up the speech I was a nervous wreck. Every day my mind raced as I came up with one excuse after another to try get out of it, including faking an illness. It was pure misery.

But at the moment I was called up onto the stage the fear seemed to dissipate and I knew I would be alright. Isn’t that usually the way it happens? We allow our minds to generate nothing but negative and catastrophic thoughts which in turn cause the fear based feelings we feel in our bodies. It ruins our days and nights, and for what?

Mark Twain knew what most social scientists know; that over 90% of the things we worry about and fear the most, never happen. They never happen.

So, the next time you’re facing a scary challenge remember that only one out of ten things you worry about ever come to pass. And when that one thing does happen it is never as bad as you made it out to be.

And remember: Happiness comes from living each day without fear.

With Love,

Michael

You Are Not What You Think You Are!

26 Mar

Every decision you make stems from what you think you are, and represents the value that you put upon yourself. ~Michael Luckman in Luckman’s Laws

Tony Parinello, bestselling author of the Selling to VITO books, often talks about what level a salesperson sells at. Does he or she call at the top, the Very Important Top Officer (VITO) level that Tony refers to as the carpeted level, or do they call at the buyer level, where the floors are covered with linoleum. For those who have sold at the linoleum level and the carpeted level they’ll tell you without a shadow of a doubt, that it is easier and more productive to sell where there’s carpeting on the floor. So why don’t more salespeople call at this level?

The answer is quite simple, although very disappointing. Most salespeople call at the level they see themselves at. If you see yourself living your life at the buyer’s level you will be more comfortable among buyers. And will often be afraid of calling at any level above that. If you see yourself as executive material, then you will want to sell at the top level of an organization because that’s the level you aspire to and can easily see yourself attaining. You might still feel some fear but your drive and ambition will give you the courage to overpower it.

T. Harv Ecker, founder of Peak Potentials and author of the bestselling book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, has been quoted as saying that you can take an average of all of your friend’s yearly income and the number would be close to what you are currently earning. So what does all this mean?

It means that until you begin to see yourself differently you will continue to unconsciously live your life similar to what your parent’s life was like, and what your friend’s lives are like. Rich and successful parents typically produce rich and successful kids. Average parents beget average kids and average earners. And poor parent’s children will often live lives where there is never enough.

You can best be described as a setting on a thermostat. If you are set at 72° and for some reason the temperature drops to 68° your internal furnace (mind) will bring the temperature back up. Conversely, if the temperature rises to 74° the air conditioner (mind again) will come on to bring the temperature down 2 degrees. Your comfort zone is always set at the level your subconscious mind sees you at. Now does that mean it can’t be changed? No!

Most of how we view ourselves was not of our choosing. It came from our parents, teachers, siblings, friends and other family members. They may have told you that you wouldn’t amount to much. That you weren’t college material. That you should be happy with what you have, considering. That when brains were being passed out you were at the back of the line. These were things these people impressed upon you, and right or wrong you believed them and accepted them as the truth.

You, are so much more powerful than you think you are. You have the power to literally change your mind and I‘m not talking about making a different decision. I’m talking about seeing yourself as you truly are. Not how somebody else defined you. Start by writing a list of what others told you was true about you. Then take each one and write “the real truth.”

With Love,

Michael