Tag Archives: change

I Am What I Am!

30 Jan

Or as Popeye the Sailor Man put it, “I yam what I yam!” But what does it mean when we use this simple phrase, or when someone tells us, I am what I am. To me it speaks volumes. It says; this is who I am. I cannot change. Either accept me “as is” or forget about it. To me it’s just another whine of the powerless.

Every living thing in the universe, from the tiniest microbe to us, the most sophisticated and intelligent animal on earth, have been created to evolve. To adapt to a changing environment. It’s built into our DNA. Without change no species survives.

So why do so many people, people we know and love, refuse to even consider changing, even when faced with a looming disaster, like the loss of a relationship or of a career. My belief it is fear. Fear is the strongest emotion we face and we face it on a daily basis. We fear rejection. We fear embarrassment. And most of all, we fear the unknown, the scariest fear of all. And change is nothing more than giving up the old for the new. Be it a new way of thinking, a new attitude or a new behavior.

As modern day people we live in comfort zones, doing only those things that make us feel safe and secure. Whenever faced with the prospect of doing something new we find ourselves pushed up against the boundaries of those zones. Immediately fear begins to flood our bodies and we begin to have self-doubts. What if I don’t succeed? What if I fail? What if I lose my friends and social network when I no longer agree with them? What if don’t like the person I become? And so, we allow fear to win and paralyze us into doing nothing. But whenever fear wins understand that we lose.

There is a basic law of the universe that says; nature abhors a vacuum. This means, that as soon as you let go of your old beliefs, attitudes and behaviors new ones will take their place. And, almost always, the new ones are far better than the old ones they replaced.

If you’re faced with a failing marriage, a rocky relationship with your kids or challenges at work, maybe it’s time to face your fears and make that conscious decision to change. I’m not going to tell you it’s easy. But, I will tell you this; once you face and overpower your fears your life will become easier, and the joy and the happiness you have been seeking will begin to flow effortlessly to you.

Life is nothing more than a continuous series of choices. Therefore, choose wisely!

With Love,

Michael

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It’s Resolutions Time! Again?

30 Dec

I often wonder who came up with the idea to create a list of New Year’s resolutions. A list of all the things we are unhappy with about ourselves, and the “wish” that we will miraculously change over the coming months.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe in change and I believe that each of us has the power within to change practically anything about ourselves. We are that powerful. No, what concerns me about New Year’s resolutions is the way we go about creating these changes.

Often the buoyancy of the holidays (too much cheer, food, spending) gives us a false sense of optimism when it comes to changing lifelong habits. We believe that change will come automatically when we once decide to make that change. Nowhere within the listing stage do we ever ask ourselves, “Can I do this? What plan do I have to succeed? What sacrifices will I have to make? Am I biting off more than I can chew?”

According to a January 2013 article in Forbes magazine only 8% of people who make New Year’s resolutions succeed. If a doctor wanted to perform surgery on you and then shared with you the fact that in better than 9 of every 10 patients the surgery was an utter failure, would you still agree to go under the knife. I have my doubts. Yet, millions of people will sit down over the coming days and create a list of changes they desire in themselves, yet knowing somewhere deep within, that they are going to fail.

Does this mean that you shouldn’t make New Year’s resolutions? Of course not. Go ahead and make your list, but then do the following:

  • Prioritize your list from least important to most important. Then choose the most important item on your list to begin. One item, no more. Once you succeed with this resolution the others will be much easier to attain.
  • Plan the next 90 days and how you’re going to succeed. I suggest learning and using SMART goals. You’ll find them in my book Overpowering Fear or just Google them. If you’re going to lose weight ask yourself, “What help do I need to accomplish my goal.” Over the years I’ve used Weight Watchers and Nutrisystem. Choose a system that feels comfortable for you. Don’t think you’re going to accomplish this alone, YOU WON’T.
  • (This example can be used for most goals). If your goal is to get more sleep create a log to fill out just before you go to bed. Write down the time you went to bed and if you’re not getting to bed on time, write the reason. Review this log at the end of every week. You’ll see that the reasons you wrote down were meaningless. If it was important for you to watch Scandal to the end, ask yourself, what the episode was about? If you can’t remember then it wasn’t very important.
  • Accept the fact  that no great change happens without some sacrifice. Whether it be food, time, alcohol, video games, etc. you are going to have to give up something. Prepare to give up the known for the unknown.
  • Because you create your life through your thoughts, don’t let thoughts of failure derail you. Done right, you have a greater chance of success than failure. Whenever a negative thought enters your mind causing unwanted fear say to yourself, “Thank you for this thought but I choose not to accept it. Instead I ask for a thought that is just the opposite.” It may sound crazy but it works.

For those who try my plan for accomplishing their New Year’s resolutions, I would love to hear back from you. Tell me your successes and your failures. My goal is to make this work for everyone.

Love,

Michael

The Life You Are Living!

30 Jul

Luckman’s Law: The life you are living is the life that you have created. If you don’t like it – change it. Nothing will change it for you.

How many times have I heard someone say, “I wish I could change my life?” How many times in my lifetime have I said it?

At one time or another we have all uttered these words. We might have said them when something went wrong, or when we were feeling sad and dejected. For those of us who fight depression, these words often become our daily mantra.

We beseech the heavens with our hopes and wishes for a better life. But, hope is a pessimist looking at things optimistically. Hope is wishing, and neither will change your life.

But, what will change your life – is you. Yes, you. You hold the power to create the life you are longing to live. You have always had this power. You just didn’t know how to use it.

We are literally given everything we ask for. Unfortunately, for most, we don’t realize we are asking for all the things we don’t want in our lives, as well as all the things we do want. We do it through our negative thoughts and the words we utter.

With over 90% of the thoughts we dwell on considered negative it’s no wonder we attract so many of the things we don’t want. And, here is how we do it; The woman running a half marathon says to others, “I hope I’m able to finish the race.” When she should be thinking and saying, “I know that I’ll not only finish this race, but I’ll be amongst the top 10 finishers.”

The student thinking and sharing their thoughts with others about an upcoming political science final exam says, “I hope I’ll pass the final.” They should be thinking, “I have spent this past semester learning about political science. I am knowledgeable about the subject and am confident I will do extremely well on the final.”

The salesperson sitting at their desk with a telephone and a list of suspects thinks, “I hate making these calls. I doubt I’ll even set one meeting.” Their conversation with themselves should be, “I know the more calls I make the more meetings I’ll book. I expect to set three meetings today!”

Many great thinkers throughout history have spoken these words, Change your thoughts and you will change your life!!!

But, no one has the power to do it for you. Only you hold that power.

With love,

Michael

You Don’t Like it, Change it!

4 Feb

For many of us, our lives are plagued with fear and worry about what the future holds. I’m not just talking about the long range future of five, ten, twenty years, but what’s going to happen today, tomorrow, next week, the end of the month.

This article was written for a Monday morning publication, actually the day after the Super Bowl. How did you wake up this morning? Other than maybe a little hangover from one too many Buds, did you wake up optimistic about what the new day would bring you? Or, did you wake up with fear and dread of the day ahead of you?

Was it going to be another day of dreading being stuck in traffic and maybe being late to work? Was it dread of putting up with the boss or your co-workers? Did you leave the house in fear of meeting with an angry client? Did you see a gray hair or another wrinkle this morning that made you feel old? Are you constantly asking yourself, “Where did my dreams go?”

Would you like to change all this? Good, then we can work together to solve this problem.

First, it is said that over 90% of what we worry about never comes to pass. Mark Twain said it best, “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened!” Think about this for a moment, by a ratio of 9 to 1, what we worry about never ever happens. So, why do we make ourselves and our lives miserable worrying about something that will probably never happen? Unless we make it happen. And we do that.

The Law of Attraction says that we are constantly creating the things in our life through what we give thought, emotion and expectation to. That includes all the good and all the bad. So it is obvious that if you change your thoughts you can change your attitude from one of lack and limitation, to one of constant joy, happiness, peace and abundance. And here is how to do it.

First, you must believe in a higher power. It could be God, the Universe, Jesus, Infinite Spirit, Allah. It doesn’t matter much, they are just names for “all that is.” Next, when you are feeling worry and dread you are going to ask your higher power for exactly the opposite of what you fear. As an example, you fear your boss, and aren’t sure what she’s got in store for you that day. So what is the opposite of this scenario? It is a day where your boss is in a perfect mood and sees all that you do to contribute to the success of the company. So ask your higher power for exactly that; Infinite Spirit, I desire a perfect day at work today. I want a day where I accomplish a great amount quality work and my boss recognizes my positive contributions to the company’s success. Say that when you first awake and throughout the day.

Hey! This is not rocket science. It’s just you becoming comfortable asking for what you want. Remember, it is not that you ask God for too much, but that you ask her for too little.

To a wonderful week,

Michael