Tag Archives: anger

A Pet Peeve of Mine

14 Oct

This blog has nothing to do with fear or the process of overpowering fear. Fear causes us to experience anxiety and anger, but this really upsets me.

Several years back I was driving to meet with a client and had to cross one of the numerous bridges that span the San Francisco Bay. In this case it was the Benicia Bridge. As I was approaching mid-span traffic began slowing down, finally coming to a complete stop. As we waited an emergency helicopter landed and it became obvious that we had come upon an accident with one or more injured participants.

We sat there waiting for close to an hour while emergency crews secured the injured and cleared the roadway. Finally, traffic began moving and within several minutes I was one car away from paying my toll. The car in front of me was a Lexus driven by a woman I would guess to be in her mid to late forties. As she stopped next to the toll booth she put her car in park and leaned to her right as she began rummaging through her purse for the $5.00 toll. She looked and looked and looked until she finally found a five dollar bill and handed it to the toll collector. I sat there smiling. You see, I was taught that it is better to sit there with a smile on my face than to make obscene gestures with my hands.

Now that is the extreme. But for those who shop at Costco or any other membership store where it’s required to hand your membership card to the cashier this may have happened to you. The person in front of you empties their cart and then waits for the customer in front of them to finish their transaction. They then take a few steps forward until they’re face-to-face with the cashier who asks for their card. It is at that point that they begin rummaging through their purse or wallet in search of their card, while they mutter the words, “I know it’s here somewhere.” Did they not read the instructions? Did they get up in the morning thinking, “When I get to Costco today I wonder if they’ll ask for my membership card? They’ve always asked for it before, but maybe today will be different.” Yeah, that’s it. Today will be different. Duh?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Michael, you always tell us to ask for what we want and the Universe will give it to us. Why didn’t you just ask for a quick check out? You’re right. I should have but I didn’t. But the delay is minor when compared to my other fear:

These people vote and breed.



Do You Really Need Your Ego?

29 May

Your ego is your friend. Am I right? No! That’s WRONG! Your ego is your sworn enemy. In fact, if you died tomorrow, your ego could not care less. Of course, when your body dies, your ego dies too. But your ego doesn’t know that.

At birth you had no ego. But as you grew you began to develop this ego to help distinguish your being from others. My name, Michael Luckman, and my ego differentiate me from all other humans. And thus I live and act in an ego based world.

The reason I dislike the ego so much is because it constantly compares us to others. We ask ourselves: Am I as smart as Roger? Is my home larger than my neighbor’s? Am I taller than John? Is Bob a better baseball player? Am I as pretty as Suzy? Is my car more expensive than Sam’s? Is my dress sexier than Sharon’s.

When the answers to these inquiries are yes, you feel pretty good about yourself. But what happens when the answer comes back a no? What then?

Typically, the first emotion you feel is fear, and a total emptiness inside. Then comes a loss of self-esteem followed by a loss of self-confidence. And when that happens you are unable to function at your best; at work, at home and at play.

What would happen if you killed off your ego and stopped listening to it? Actually nothing. Nothing, except for the disappearance of all negative feelings of jealousy, frustration, fear, rage, shame, anger, embarrassment, depression, inferiority and worry (did I miss anything?).

Not a bad tradeoff. Right?

With Love,