My Greatest Fear For My Country

24 Jun

My greatest fear for my country is a fat and stupid electorate.

Picture in your mind a television commercial in the not too distant future being shown in a foreign country. It shows a large number of obese children rummaging through a landfill just outside of Newark, NJ. (Please forgive me good people of Newark. This landfill could have been in any American city).

A distinguished older gentleman turns to the camera and says, “Hello, did you know for only $60.00 a month, a mere $2.00 a day you can adopt one of these chubby little American children and provide them a healthy meal to replace the happy meals they’ve been living on, plus a monthly educational connect-the-dots book.”

“Let’s talk to one of these children.” (Little Mikey waddles over).

“Hi, what’s your name?” Mikey. “And why aren’t you in school Mikey?” There are no teachers left. “Oh, and why is that?” Well when my older brother was in school there were 30 kids in his class, and then they didn’t have the money so they fired half the teachers. And then there were 60 kids in his class. And then when I got to his grade they again fired half the teachers so there were now 120 kids in the class and because it was so hard to teach that many kids at once, the teachers who were left, all quit. And nobody wants to take the job and replace them.

“I see.” (Turning once more to the camera). “There are a lot of kids in the U.S. just like Mikey. Fat, diabetic and totally uneducated. Won’t you donate today to bring nutrition and learning to these lost children. Call 1-800-WERDUMB and donate today.”

With Love,

Michael

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