Who Does Your Ego Compare You To?

11 Apr

Let’s begin by understanding this; your ego is NOT your friend. Friends say and do things that make us feel good about ourselves. Egos say and do things that make us feel bad, sometimes real bad about ourselves.

Your ego is of the body. When you die your ego dies with you. It’s not something you can bequeath to others, nor would others want it. They’ve got their own egos to deal with. Our egos are there to constantly compare us, and our possessions, to others. They are the ones that remind us of all of our “not enoughs.”  You know the “not enoughs.” Not pretty enough. Not talented enough. Not creative enough. Not coordinated enough. Not smart enough. Not skinny enough. Not athletic enough. Just plain — not enough.

Now where does the ego get this garbage from? They get it from others. Others who have judged us, either rightly or wrongly. They are our parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, school mates, teammates, teachers, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, employers and the list goes on and on. Sometimes these things have been told us with love, “Don’t worry about this honey; some kids are just better at math than others. You’ll be good at something else.” And sometimes, they have been told us with malice, “We don’t want Luckman on our team. He couldn’t catch the ball even if we put it in his hands.” Either way, your ego remembers all of these things and in an instant will remind you of them, and to hell with how these words make you feel.

As I said, your ego is not your friend. When faced with new challenges the first thing our ego does is to whisper to us, “You can’t do that. You’re not (fill in the blank) enough. You’ll be found out that you’re not too (fill in the blank). Everyone will laugh at you. You won’t be able to take the embarrassment and the humiliation. You’ll lose your job. You’ll lose your friends. Your life, as you know it, will be over.”

And with these words of “endearment” comes the fear. The fear that grips our hearts. The fear that becomes the knot in our bellies. The fear that sets our minds racing with one delusional thought after another. The fear that forces us to give up the things in our lives that we truly want and that we truly deserve. It is this fear that makes us compromise our dreams. The fear that makes us settle for less. This senseless irrational fear that keeps us plodding along the ground with the turkeys instead of soaring with the eagles where we truly belong.

We were each created for greatness if only, if only, we could overpower our fears.

With Love,

Michael

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